Beaustrology and Horoscopic musings

BEAUSTROLOGY AND HORORSCOPES

TAURUS (apr 20 - may 20)

Stop all that moaning girleen! Gees, how many times must I tell you to stop worrying?! Didn't your mama tie your shoe laces up tightly enough? Uptight, yeah that's you. The nerve! Good Fortune.

GEMINI (may 21 - june 21)

"You two-faced bitch I told you before not to go snooping in my pantie drawer!", Lyssia was not pleased, and why should she be after the crude nature of Daraka's furious fumblings. Simply does it Peanut!

CANCER (june 22 - july 22)

This month you will be experiencing some ludicrous moments of delight followed by severe bouts of deep impressions into the nature of things. Hake heed Bubble Brain!

LEO (july 23 - aug 22)

Hmmm, You are not as proud as usual Leo my pip. Why? well lets see, for a start you have taken that art critic far too seriously- she knows nothing! Hear me? I repeat nothing! Go a milk bath and two luxury sweets and see that firey energy return. Disaster awaits.

VIRGO (aug 23 - sept 22)

Sister you aint no mister! I believe it's time to check your persona! Who are you trying to kid! Stop it! Learn to flounce with glee. Happy is she who bakes.

LIBRA (sept 23 - oct 23)

Everthing is off balance Miss Libra, those extra pounds do you no justice- somebody call Fortnum and Masons! Cancel your buttercake cream scone subscription at once! Good times ahead.

SCORPIO (oct 24 - nov 21)

I have been told by a little pretty butterfly that you are fond of plucking wings! Take heed- those wings will fly of their own accord and flap disaster in your back garden. In the meantime enjoy reading the latest knick knack journal. Luck is turning.

SAGITTARIUS (nov 22 - dec 21)

Ok so you have ditched that troubled soul and found yourself a puppy to fondle- but I hear you secretly enjoy playing with felines- tsk tsk bitch. You are heading for a fall and you know it. Happy moments die on the vine.

CAPRICORN (dec 22 - jan 19)

"Cripes did she really say that? I'm totally shocked! I never thought her capable of that! Now I know. I will be more careful in future". Yes, this is coming to a screen near you. A screened call. Poor poor Capricorn.

AQUARIUS (jan 20 - feb 18)

Until the cock crows thrice stop being so nice! Someone is taking you for a ride- and not a fabulous panoramic one- this ride is full of bumps and obscured vision! Stop the meter- I can't afford this. Danger!

PISCES (feb 19 - mar 20)

Those tears don't work with me Pisces! As my good friend Polly Baby says "Stop those tears and hold back the years". Ok, she is deluded, but that's my point! You need more delusion! Take yourself to the Opera, drink some nettle tea. Fun in the box.

	BEAU	MONDE	ONLINE
Biro's Inspiratos	Xavior's Paradise	Hanky Panky Kabarett	Have Fun With Ragnelly Donna	BONNIE VLADIOVSTOK'S COLUMN

FIRE	EARTH	AIR	WATER
ARIES (mar 21 - apr 19) This month sees the return of that red fiber tip that Miranda warned you about. Was she wrong to ask that favour of your best aquaintance? Take heed, if you swallow you choke.	TAURUS (apr 20 - may 20) Stop all that moaning girleen! Gees, how many times must I tell you to stop worrying?! Didn't your mama tie your shoe laces up tightly enough? Uptight, yeah that's you. The nerve! Good Fortune.	GEMINI (may 21 - june 21) "You two-faced bitch I told you before not to go snooping in my pantie drawer!", Lyssia was not pleased, and why should she be after the crude nature of Daraka's furious fumblings. Simply does it Peanut!	CANCER (june 22 - july 22) This month you will be experiencing some ludicrous moments of delight followed by severe bouts of deep impressions into the nature of things. Hake heed Bubble Brain!
LEO (july 23 - aug 22) Hmmm, You are not as proud as usual Leo my pip. Why? well lets see, for a start you have taken that art critic far too seriously- she knows nothing! Hear me? I repeat nothing! Go a milk bath and two luxury sweets and see that firey energy return. Disaster awaits.	VIRGO (aug 23 - sept 22) Sister you aint no mister! I believe it's time to check your persona! Who are you trying to kid! Stop it! Learn to flounce with glee. Happy is she who bakes.	LIBRA (sept 23 - oct 23) Everthing is off balance Miss Libra, those extra pounds do you no justice- somebody call Fortnum and Masons! Cancel your buttercake cream scone subscription at once! Good times ahead.	SCORPIO (oct 24 - nov 21) I have been told by a little pretty butterfly that you are fond of plucking wings! Take heed- those wings will fly of their own accord and flap disaster in your back garden. In the meantime enjoy reading the latest knick knack journal. Luck is turning.
SAGITTARIUS (nov 22 - dec 21) Ok so you have ditched that troubled soul and found yourself a puppy to fondle- but I hear you secretly enjoy playing with felines- tsk tsk bitch. You are heading for a fall and you know it. Happy moments die on the vine.	CAPRICORN (dec 22 - jan 19) "Cripes did she really say that? I'm totally shocked! I never thought her capable of that! Now I know. I will be more careful in future". Yes, this is coming to a screen near you. A screened call. Poor poor Capricorn.	AQUARIUS (jan 20 - feb 18) Until the cock crows thrice stop being so nice! Someone is taking you for a ride- and not a fabulous panoramic one- this ride is full of bumps and obscured vision! Stop the meter- I can't afford this. Danger!	PISCES (feb 19 - mar 20) Those tears don't work with me Pisces! As my good friend Polly Baby says "Stop those tears and hold back the years". Ok, she is deluded, but that's my point! You need more delusion! Take yourself to the Opera, drink some nettle tea. Fun in the box.